So What Did You Do Today?
by merryfortune
Summary: [Set after episode 33 of Stardust crusaders. Warnings for sexual humour and swearing] Finally, after an eventful morning, they are able to regroup over breakfast. Then, the dreaded question is asked: so... what have you been up to today?


**So… What Have You Done Today?**

 **[AN: Why do I always do this? Hello new fandom, please let me be gross. I swear it'll be funny.]**

Under the heavy blanket of Egyptian heat, it was hard to think that it was barely nine-thirty. Already, it had been an eventful day. Clothes were a bit tattered and bloody. Everyone stank to high heavens; or more so than usual.

Polnareff was missing an earring and more of his dignity than usual. Jotaro seemed to be assessing memories whilst Avdol and his grandfather were deleting them. Iggy, like always, could care less as he munched on coffee flavoured gum.

'So, what were you two up to whilst you were unattended?' Avdol asked; his voice was heavy with regret so that was a good sign. He took his coffee to his lips and enjoyed the aroma. Anything to replace what his senses had been through this morning.

Jotaro shrugged. 'Same old, same old. Good grief. Not even had breakfast today and it's safe to assume we've encountered the enemy.'

'A man of few words as usual.' Avdol commented.

'It's a good idea though.' Joseph piped up with a flail of his empty cup for emphasis. 'Keep it short and snappy. We've all seen some shit,' he paused and stared down Polanreff who was shrinking into his chair but continued nonetheless: 'done some shit that we don't really need to go in.'

'Y-Yes.' Polanreff grunted.

'So, what have you done today, Polnareff?' Joseph asked. Then, before he gave Polnareff the opportunity to answer, he surmised his own day thus far. 'I accidentally got a blowjob. More or less. To close proximity.'

Joseph's eyes slid to Avdol. Now it was his turn to sink into his chair; and more embarrassment.

Jotaro sighed.

'I,' Avdol glared at Joseph as his face constrained his shame, 'gave a blowjob. More or less. To close proximity then. Ugh, this doesn't suit my image! A bald-faced lie! It was merely a compromising position.'

Jotaro sighed even harder than before. 'Why do I think those two events are connected?'

Joseph blushed.

'No. I am a good person. I do not deserve.' Avdol muttered. Not really creating full sentences.

'Well,' Joseph said, boisterously with a puff of his chest and a raise of his eyebrows, 'Li'l Joseph did get a li'l excited back there.'

Avdol's soul left his body. He had been on death's doorstep back in India and somehow, that was more preferable than the humiliation he was experiencing now.

'I am a good person, Mr Joestar. I did not require that information! I had hoped that had been my imagination given the stress of the situation and my want of retaining my image which you. Have now. Thoroughly ruined.' he snapped; but he used a soft, breathy voice that was full of venom. He was like tranquil fury.

Joseph began to laugh. Loud and raucous. Amused.

Jotaro was also sickened on Avdol's behalf. He didn't require that information. A sly glance at Polnareff though, and Jotaro realised that Polanreff was suddenly feeling slightly better about himself. Still, Jotaro had reason to believe this breakfast's shame train was not about to come to station just yet.

After all, there had to be a reason as to why Polnareff would lie to a beautiful lady about meeting her prior. Well, another reason on top of not wanting to explain Stands and supernatural abilities that could regress a man's age in mere seconds.

'I…' Polnareff confessed. 'I took a shit in a beautiful woman's bath tub. That's what I've done today.' He snarled though, venomously and he looked as though he had been brutalised.

 _Oh_ , Jotaro thought to himself as his own soul attempted to ascend. There really was another reason as to why he would refuse a beautiful woman.

Iggy gave a low whine and an irriated huff. This gave the men the impression that Iggy had, unfortunately for him, understood the adventures they had all undertaken today too. There goes his blissful ignorance; something he would surely try to avenge later.

'Looks like we've all had adventures today.' Avdol lamented.

'Let's never do this again.' Polnareff stated.

'A fantastic idea.' Joseph agreed with some mumbled background agreement too.


End file.
